Nobody’s immune to the occasional bout of b-day blues, not even Kourtney Kardashian.
The Poosh founder, reality star and mother of three has a serious case of pre-birthday anxiety in this special sneak peek clip from Keeping Up With the Kardashians season 17—premiering this fall—which sees Kourtney open up about how turning 40 really makes her feel during a very honest conversation with Khloe Kardashian.
“It almost makes you analyze like, where you’re at in your life,” she explains. “It’s just giving me anxiety.”
When Khloe inquires about which aspects of her life she’s referring to, Kourt admits that since launching her lifestyle website earlier this year, she often wishes she “had more time.”
“Don’t we all,” replies the Revenge Body star.
“I feel like I want to cry,” Kourtney tells her, even though she’s not sure what it is about this particular birthday that’s stressing her out so much. “‘Cause then I’m like, I have so much and I should just be so happy.”
“But you’re not happy?” Khloe asks, coming back in with the hard questions.
“I mean, I am,” says Mason, Penelope and Reign Disick‘s mom, but it’s obviously not that simple. “Sometimes I’m like, I’ll just do stupid s–t to distract from really thinking about stuff that is maybe more important. I don’t know. But then half of me is like, live your life. Have fun.”
Being the sage sibling that she is, KoKo advises Kourtney to prioritize her own personal happiness and try to enjoy life in the present.
“If you’re happy, that’s all that should matter for any of us,” she says. “But I really don’t think your soul is happy…I think you feel incomplete somewhere. But you’re scared.”
Accurate read or totally off-base? Check out the clip above and decide for yourself.
Keeping Up With the Kardashians returns fall 2019, only on E!